Planking Across America: From Crater Lake with Love

I cannot do this breathtaking specimen justice with mere words*:

Planking Across America
Bros from other Mo's

I'd like to dedicate this guest planking of Crater Lake to the Dunning and Benjamin families. You clearly did a bang up job raising Dan and Nick. Congrats to the Dunnings for the arrival of a beautiful baby girl, and thanks to the Benjamins for putting me up while in Easton, MA. This planking is for you.

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*Though if I tried, it would look something like this.

One or More Things I Did Today ("Dang, It's Hot Here!" Edition)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 26th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• Friends.
• This is a special edition of One or More Things I Did Today
• Had a lot of fun on this here day.
• Made it down to lovely and meat-markety Barton Springs. But before all this, I went for a run on the hike and bike trail, something I did but not once when I actually lived in Austin (for 20-some-odd years). Hot! And invigorating.
• Upon return to Barton Springs, a dip I had.
• A perfect plan: I'm able to get some exercise, get some sun, and clean up with a shower before dinner appointment.
  
• But not just any shower...
• A shower in the fabled (for me) men's quarters at Barton Springs.
• Quarters which can be described as "European".
• Which is to say, visiting this place as a youth virtually guaranteed a bushel of giggles.
  
• Which is to say, lots of old naked dudes.
• An old naked dude is something I aspire to be one day.
• But for now, I'll have to settle for being just a naked dude.
• Wow, just thinking about this day. Lot going on.
• About this time, I wrapped up things at the Spring, stopped by Flipnotics to feed this insatiable gorilla that is the WIDWINW blog, and headed to Barley Swine to meet my buddy.
• Pete Olah. Champion of Hungary, Pride of HomeAway, And Soon to Be Married (congrats, Pete!). Also noteworthy, for the purposes of this blog: dear friend. Also, Texas 4000 Brother in Arms.
  
• Barley Swine? An epicurean delight. Pete's done it again!
• We part ways, and Dani and I head to Ky and Sue's for some Tuesday night climbing.
• Tuesday night climbing?
  
• The Harkey's have climbing holds on three walls of their dirt-floored garage.
  
• That night, we sip beers, guffaw, and watch our pals cling and swing. A particularly noteworthy chat with Sue, and Ky burns the midnight oil with us into the low hours.
• Wonderful.
• Picture of the day*:

He didn't remember falling asleep in this position.

Feel free to use this pic in your wedding thank you cards, Pete.

As they say, "It was a Day".

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*Dang, y'all! Two PoTD for the price of one!!!!1!!!!&

Lovely Cora.

My friend and host in Morrisville.

Cheers to the Churches for raising such a stellar pooch.

One or More Things I Did Today (Monday in Austin Edition)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 25th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• Hey, this whole catching-up thing gets easier with each post!
• So, let's see what I've got in the memory banks...
• Hm, no, that's a past life...
• That one, too...
• And that's a Michael J. Fox movie I saw when I was 9...
• Wait...
• Ah, no - that's a telepathic impression from the dude sitting next to me at Starbucks.
• Well, dang!
• Oh, might have something here...
• Yep, bingo. These things actually happened to me:
• Woke up.
• Um, don't remember much about the rest of the day. I imagine I ate some lunch at some point, as I often like to do that on Mondays.
• Really, the first solid memory was meeting up with a high-school chum I hadn't seen in a decade.
• It was great to catch up with Ashley. She looked and sounded great, a life in full bloom. And after hanging out, she was kind enough to ferry me east to "The Fabulous White Swan"*.
• "Fabulous" is something of a relative term these days, apparently.
• Usually, a Monday night in Austin would lend itself to a visit to The Fabulous** TC's***.
• Tragically, TC's was, as of a week prior, no more. And apparently White Swan was the successor for the diaspora, so to there we went.
• Good to see all y'all: Ky and Sue, Paul and Kate, Cory, Liz, Kelsey. In short? Wrecking crew.
• And so we danced and drank Lone Star and Stone IPAs.
• And we chatted.
• And when we left, we found Paul's window had been smashed out and his glove compartment sacked.
  
• Seems those piles of broken glass I noticed like prairie dog mounds on every street from I-35 to White Swan were telling us something.
• Picture of the day: I'm failing here.

As they say, "It was a Day".

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*Or something like that. Honestly, all I remember about this place was the corner it sat on, which happened to be the corner that featured a robust crack trade that we'd pass every morning while driving to Junior High. 12th and Chicon, stand up!
**Ed's note: Italics added.
***What can I say about TC's? And institution. A movement. And something I can't squeeze into this edition of One or More Things I Did Today. Maybe I'll write about this place later, because it deserves a eulogy within this blog.

Planking Across America: From the Archives, Planking SF Pt.1

California,

The Golden Bear State, rival to Texas and Alaska in the big-and-populous-state categories, land of Gold's Gym, home to 4 NBA teams, motherland of many of my best buds, She of Berkeley and Beverly Hills, of Bill Walton and Huey Newton, home to lots of fruits and fruit of geological antiquity, replete with fault line, Yosemite-d up, and, most importantly, an impeccable canvas for planking.

Planking Across America.
A two part installment from my June and July visit to San Francisco

Their Eyes Were Watching Planking, Photo courtesy Beef Reavey

When you plank the pride parade, you better be prepared to be upstaged

I'd like to dedicate these two S.F. planking photos to my pal Shelly Kamboj. Peerless hostess, better half of Brian, and fan of beers, Shelly also has a mother that invented Indian food*. Shelly, thanks for the fun. This plank's for you.

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*Conjecture. Claim may not be accurate.

One or More Things I Did Today (Trip to Grandma's Edition)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 24th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• There we go. See? This whole keeping up with the bloggin' thing ain't so hard.
• And on this Sunday, I awoke at 6am, bright eyed and bushy tailed*.
• And it had come: the visit to Grandma's.

Stock photo: Christmas 2008

• This drive to Cleburne, TX, home of Grandma (not to be confused with Cleveland, a common misunderstanding of my childhood), is unusual, for I opt to stay awake the entire 3 hour or so drive from Austin**.
• This, in my estimation, is one of the prime times of the year to be in that part of Texas. While the heat is on, everything is still quite lush.
• After a meal of Buffalo Creek, Mom, Kelly, and I make to investigate a curious object we notice on the mudflats from our perch on the hill.
• Is it animal, mineral, old rotted tire?
• Not a one.
• Turns out it's a tree stump.
• I plank the tree stump.
• Turns out it's got some pretty sharp vertical points for a tree stump***.
• "Well, Grandma, it's about time to go."
• A Texas-day trip, complete: 3 hours each way.
• Some things in life are not meant to be: Robertson's is close, so my turkey sandwich comes from Schlotzsky's****.
• Alright.
• We arrive back in town in time for a free show at Antone's with my pal Dani: Lost Mountain Bayou Rambling Old Time Boys Revival.
• And it is a good one.
• Picture of the day: Please see above...*****
  

As they say, "It was a Day".

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*And far more bushy-tailed than my activities the day prior should have allowed, though I maintain that the unusually early nights that daytime drinking often lend themselves to also provide the length of sleep to ameliorate the day's work and put you on fresh feet in time for Sunday brunch. History would not lie!
**I love sleeping in cars. Actually, it's not so much a love as it is an inability to stay awake while being anywhere in a moving car other than the wheel. So comfortable.
***An artist sacrifices all for his art.
****And with that, WIDWINW has stooped into the "what I ate for lunch yesterday" realm of blogdom. Huzzah! And they said it wouldn't be done.
*****... for a picture taken 3 years prior.

One or More Things I Did Today (One Month Late Is Better Than Never Edition)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 23rd, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• In honor of being a month behind of my "One or More Things I Did Today..." travelogue schedule, I present this classic Roots song, "Long Time".
• If I recall*, I was not the only one who slept in.
• We (The Family) decide around 9am to put off the visit to Grandma's house to tomorrow.
• Which lends itself to this.
• After a refresher beer at the Draught House, Carmen drops Mike and I off at the scene of Get Wet 3.
  
• Over the course of the sunny Texas summer day, we proceed to achieve the following: Viking chug the dark Real Ale beer from the donated kegs (for a good cause!), followed by slip-and-sliding the remnants off my chest and suit; introduce Stump (a podiatrist's dream) to Texas; rediscover the joys of the above ground and kiddy pools; make a hazy twilight visit to the new location of P.Terry's.
• Cap it all off with being in bed by 10pm on a Saturday night, and you've got yourself a number 1 hit there.
• Picture of the Day: Hm, dunno. Mike/Nick/Melissa, you guys got any of them?

As they say, "It was a Day".

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*Which I do, and I do now from a table at Uncommon Grounds in Burlington, VT.

I've Been Busy

Busy not blogging.

Busy living.

Busy not working.

Busy dredging up fertile ground for this blog.

Busy meeting new people.

Busy catching up with old friends.

Busy driving.

Busy thinking.

Busy drinking.

Busy procrastinating.

Busy scheming*.

And it's been a blast.

But now...

... now, I've got some catching up to do.

See here for some of the things I've been up to.

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*More to come later, likely.

Milan Ain't Got Nothin' On Valentine, TX!

On the road to Marfa, I came across something I was hoping I might see, but didn't expect to find on my route.

Driving down a typical rural West Texas road, I noticed a building up ahead. Figuring it for another abandoned failed general store, I reevaluate my expectations as I notice muddy tired tracks formed from right and left turns out of the lot in front of the building.

My rising suspicions are confirmed as I blow by this:

Eww. Prada? When is the Gucci store opening? Gucci is the only couture worth wearing. Gucci.

Out in Valentine, Texas, population 187, lay the Marfa Prada store. Or art installation, if you're so inclined.

Seems the locals weren't so inclined. The German artists behind the building intended to have the structure age without repair, such that it would eventually fade into the stark landscape like so many of the spectral facades that dot the roads out in these parts. Their conviction was challenged when, days after the piece was completed, vandals broke out with windows, stole the shoes and handbags, and spray-painted "dumb" all over the walls. A fitting reception to haute art in deep West Texas, me thinks, and really not unexpected.

The artists did decide to rebuild, and now the store features a security system and bags without bottoms (and loaded with weight sensors attached to an alarm).

If you've got a moment to spare in the sparseness of Route 90, drop on by and stare.

One or More Things I Did Today (Road to Austin Edition)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 22nd, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• The day started early for me on this fine Friday morning.
• As I slept a fitful sleep in the realm of semi rigs blowing through the one-lane highway 200 yards from my hammock, forces converged to wake me.
• "That's a funny smell", I thought as I awoke abruptly.
• "That's a funny sound", I thought as I gathered my bearings.
• "That's a skunk", I realized as I rolled out of the saddle and onto the my feet.
• Taking the nocturnal visitor and the air-braking of the night warriors as signs that it was time to ride, I hopped in my pants and hit the Texas night, 4 hours prior to my expected departure.
• Cruising the middle of nowhere, 2am.
  
• About an hour in, I decide to give the whole sleeping thing another go. Pulling into a remote picnic spot, I pop the seat back and crash until dawn (skunks still have yet to thwart the locks on an Audi).
• I rise again, 5 hours or so of road between Austin and I.
• As I drive, it becomes apparent that I'll be pushing it to make town by lunch. Furthermore, I was hoping to hit the Real Ale brewery in Blanco, and heading to Austin beforehand would add a 2 hour round trip onto the books.
• Alert the troops that we'd best parlay lunch into dinner, than redouble my efforts for Blanco.
• I stop in Fredericksburg for lunch, and make Blanco a few hours before the 3pm tour is slated to start.
• When I make it to the brewery, I'm greeted to a mob scene.
  
• The crowd on a Friday afternoon suggests I'm not alone in my WIDWINW endeavors - either these people have no jobs, are independently wealthy, or they're graphic designers.
• Whatever their occupation, the tasting room is packed like the last train out of Pompeii.
  
• I manage a taste of the 15th Anniversary brew - tasty, dark little number unlike any of Real Ale's other offerings to date - and reverse course. Bar tours are six of one, half dozen of the other, as far as I'm concerned, and nothing save salvation is worth waiting 90 minutes for*.
• And before I know it, I'm home.
  
• Sadly, my return home is not all roses, as the first six cyclists I'm greeted with have opted to fore-go the entirely overrated helmet fad.
  
• I'm typically one to leave diatribes to other blogs and Facebook, but I will write this: few things impress upon me such a swift and profound judgement as cruising without a helmet.
• While it's every adults decision to put their brains at risk if they're so inclined, chances are they're unlikely to part with medical care provided by insurance should that decision come to bite them, steep costs that will be passed on to the more prudent helmet bearers of the streets.
• Moral: helmets.
• That evening: Crown and Anchor with Mike, Carmen, Nick, and Hap. Beers.
• Picture of the Day:

The H., Home For Much of the '90s.

As they say, "It was a Day".

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*Foreshadowing events to come...

Planking Across America: Tea Party Dog Protests Obama's Support of Debt Ceiling Bill

Noni the Dog foamed at the mouth at the news that President Obama had decided to support the compromise on the debt ceiling.

"Where's the birth cert... I mean... hold on, let me think for a second... NObama! Does that still work? Ok, great.", the ardent Tea-Party supporter and likely 2012 republican primary candidate was quoted as barking on Sunday evening.

In protest, Noni has pledged to maintain this 3/4 planking position until Obama removes his support from the ongoing legislation:

I'm convinced this is where the downward dog pose came from.

Noni's fellow party members haven't yet built up the courage to ask if she's familiar with conventional planking form, instead opting to assume she's taking the Tea Party's status quo challenging ways to their logical evolution and applying them to planking (she knows that that owling junk is just nonsense).

To a Friend in Amsterdam...

... who hasn't had the best luck with summer weather the past couple of years,

please,

let us share a little bit with you:

It's not quite as nice as the real think, but we hope you enjoy.

Planking Across America: Planking Reaches the Top of Texas

Two unexplained phenomena you can find in West Texas: The Marfa Lights and a rabid appetite for world-class planking.

Planking Across America

Planking the Curvature of the Earth or Collapsed?, Self-Portrait

Such plank heights, Self Portrait

I dedicate these inaugural Lone Star plankings to three of my oldest and dearest friends: Taylor, Kivett, and Chris. The four of us made a visit to this same planking location six years back, and while some things have changed since then, my love for the absurd has only deepened. This plankings for you, guys.

One or More Things I Did Today (El Paso! Edition)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 21st, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• In the interest of managing content on WIDWINW (learning these editorial tricks as I go along), I shelved mentioning where I stayed on July 19th for this post. It's all about content management.
• The previous evening found me as a guest of Stuart and Shari Schwartz of El Paso, Texas.
• Wonderfully warm hosts, the Schwartzes put me up on my visit to El Paso, fed me, and perhaps most importantly, provided me with a bag of Double Stuffed Oreos to ease my travels. Thanks, guys!

Thank you, Schwartz Family

• Got on the road early today. The goal: Guadalupe Mountains.
• Hitting the road, I reach the park bearing the "Top of Texas" in about 3 hours.
  
• This is something of a return to this area* - back in August 2005, three dear friends and I wanted to plan a trip. Came down to New Orleans and Guadalupe Mountains National Park. For reasons I don't recall, we opted to head west rather than east, and were out in the desert for several days. Within minutes of resurfacing in civilization in Van Horn, Texas, we saw on the TV at the Mexican place we were eating news that Katrina had consumed New Orleans. I'm glad we went west.
  
• This time I've no friends with me - just myself and the desert. I encountered a total of one other party on my hike. Nothing like hours of hiking with just yourself, the mesquite, and the rattlesnakes.
• The view from on high:

Crap, left my camera down there!

• Not the most sexy view in the world, but a view nonetheless.
  
• After planking the summit and battling flying ants for the visitor's registry that sits in a crack in the rocks, I high-tailed it down the mountain and made a line for Marfa, where I'd lay may head for the evening.
• Wow, just now realizing there was more to this day than I'd originally thought...
  
• Super-jumbo One or More Things I Did Today Edition!!!

• Welcome to the second half of my July 20th, 2011.
• Hm... that boast above miiight have been a bit premature.
  
• And let me tell you why: I don't want to do a disservice to these next two tidbits, so I'm saving them both for separate posts.
• I'm sorry! But it's for your own good, being a supporting partner and angel investor in WIDWINW. We're all about monetization of this blog here at this blog, and content management (see first bullet) is key to maximizing our impending IPO.
• You understand, right?
• Picture of the Day:

Top o' Texas, Y'all. Whataburger scheduled for 2013 opening.

As they say, "It was a Day".

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*Literary indulgence - it's every bit a return, since I haven't been here since the last (which was also the first) time I was here. Hm, this point seems rife with stating the obvious. Better move on...

Grabbing the Reins

4 days since my last post?

Unacceptable!

Haven't had a chance since Thursday, though.

The short of it is: back in San Francisco, and back on the computer.

Let the blogging resume.