One or More Things I Did Today (New Mexico Is Hot Edition)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 20th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• Hey, I'm still in Albuquerque.
• At Jason's advice, I stake out a spot at this place and tap in to the wireless.
• I spend about 4 hours doing this.
• Maybe more.
• Around lunch, Jason rolls by and we have lunch.
  
• I'll be honest with you - this wasn't the most eventful day in the history of WIDWINW.
• That being said, check out this tidbit: it was so hot in Albuquerque that day, that when I finally left and returned to my car, my deodorant had liquefied.
  
• Not melted. Liquefied*. I could have bathed in the stuff. Effectively, it was now body wash.
• Now that? That is hot.
• The rest of the day involved a bit of driving. Down south to the west Texas town of El Paso. Thankfully for the quality of this blog, the road between these two cities is rife with brilliantly unusual signs.

Top Signs and Sites Between Albuquerque
Sponsored by Lonely Planet and National Geographic

"El Paso 13, Beaumont 852" - A mileage sign on the New Mexico / Texas border. Those were the only two places listed.

Eat More Ice Cream! Drink More Milk! - Command printed on the side of a mammoth dairy plant surrounded by what amounted to feedlots. Is that ice cream and milk what I'm smelling? Sign me up!

Worst President Ever - Sign that slipped into West Texas from an alternative universe where George W. Bush was never born. The O in "worst" was the iconic Obama "O".

Bush Cheney '04** - Likely put up to remind the "worst president ever" sign which universe we're inhabiting. Or the extension of that sign. Or "kudos for not giving up the ghost!". Hard to say.

• As I passed one of the mandatory border patrol checks*** that stopped traffic heading the opposite direction, traffic heading my direction was treated to what looked like a fleet of paparazzi at a red carpet press spot - tons of what appeared to be cameras and lights greeting motorists. I felt like the Jonas Brothers****! Or, more accurately, like a less masculine version of the Jonas Brothers.
• And what I found most interesting of my day, the first time I'd crossed the border in return to Texas in years: the feeling of home. Even though the distinguishing characteristics between the north and south sides of Highway 10 were few to none, even though I had no loved ones and precious few contacts in that part of the state, even though the land looked nothing like Austin - even with all that, the feeling of coming home was palpable and undeniable. Looks like I'm a Texas at heart.

• Picture of the Day: N/A.

As they say, "It was a Day".

---

*The latest addition to the "trial and error with spell-check" club.
**Yep. Someone has some valuable billboard space there.
***The legality of which I'd love to hear specifics on. I'm not one to beat the Constitution Tambourine much, but really, these mandatory interviews miles from the border seem hard to swallow.
****Would this have been funnier if I swapped Justin Bieber for the Jonas Brothers? What? It's a played joke either way? Nah.

What I Do When I'm Not Blogging

So far.

Planking Across America: Belated and Epic Cali Shots

As Chamberlain once said, good things come to those who wait.

To wit: old age, ever-expanding tech bubbles, global warming, and these planking photos from Point Reyes, crafted a few weeks back during my first visit through San Francisco on this trip and retrieved upon my return today:

Planking Across America
Planking Point Reyes and About A Million Fish, Photo credit Breavey

None Shall Pass Planking, Credit Brian


http://www.flickr.com/photos/30124598@N00/5986473494/in/photostream/
Planking Shot That Broke Blogger, Too Many Megapixels

I'd like to dedicate these beautiful planking vistas to Brian McReavey (he of and Brian fame), a good buddy and ardent supporter of advances in planking culture. Brian, if I manage to remember to get those shots of me planking the Pride Festival in SF back in June... wait, that could be taken the wrong way - let's talk offline about those. Brian, this planking's for you.

One or More Things I Did Today (The Hitting The Road Edition)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 19th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• Goodbye, Zion. I will return. Until that day, please take good care of my cell phone. Let it not want for anything.
• While driving out the East exit, the locals bid me adieu:

Pick one: "Who do I think I'm kidding: these sheep couldn't care less that I'm leaving." "Hey, psst, want to buy an iPhone?"

• Time to put in some work. Destination: Albuquerque*
• Expansive. The West. A copy of Game Change** on loan from the heralded Cracker Barrel collection on the CD player.
• My gosh, thank you eyeballs, intelligent design, and whomever for teaming up to bring me sights like these:

To my left...
... and to my right.

• Somewhere more or less midway between Zion and Albuquerque, a little girl waving a sign causes me to veer off the road and backtrack a quarter mile. Whenever a little kid is hawking products in their driveway, I'm at least stopping by for a look. And, based on this experience, I'm going to reap rewards for my efforts when this happens on a reservation: pumpkin cookies, still hot from the oven, and a frybread bean and cheese taco.
• After nine hours or so or manipulating a steering wheel, I arrive in the 'Querque. And who should greet me? Oh, it's my old friends duststorm and smoke from the forest fire running amok just north of town!
  
• Deepening my burgeoning relationship with pay-phones, I give Jason - raconteur, cousin of my Mother, at no time member of the 'Querque fan club- a call.
• "Let's meet up in Old Town".
• Deal.
• After dinner, we hit up this place*** for a drink. The decent beer ship has made port in Albuquerque.
• Great catching up, great conversation, great night weather, great beer.
  
• And with that, it's time to call it a night.
• Picture of the day:

Loves me some Cowboy Poetry.

As they say, "It was a Day".

---

*A gold standard example of "spellcheck enabled trial and error". What would I do without you, dotted red line?

**A gold standard example of "hm, when you right a book that carries on like it's the gospel truth, should readers be at all concerned that all of the sources are anonymous?". Seriously, while most of the stuff in this book is along the lines of the popular furrows on these characters held by the wide majority of Americans (save for Elizabeth Edwards, who was apparently a difficult woman to be around), utilizing quotes and sentiments only two people in the world may have been privy to, without attributing those quotes to anyone, can make for an icky feeling.
***Looking at the link now, I'm pleased to say the scene in the photo looks nothing like the scene that night.

The Canyon, The River, and I

While the calves may look familiar, this is not me: my camera needs a rest before I can post some photos of the Narrows. Until then: a resource.

The

clouds were already rolling in when I woke, hanging thick above the Watchman campground, the color of a bruise.

On board the shuttle that would carry me for 40 minutes before debarking at The Temple of Sinawava, I considered the implicit warning in the possibility of rain: being that the 4.8 miles up and 4.8 miles back ran along the Virgin river, with sheer cliffs over a thousand feet tall overhead at points, the chances for a flash-flood were real* (though the risks associated were somewhat less, in my estimation - if I told you there was a 10% chance of a flash-flood, would you take those odds? 1%? Do you take any solace in statistics?**).

Upon arriving at the beginning of the hike, though, I could see I wasn't the only one unswayed by the the weather - hundreds of hikers were splish-splashing their way into the Narrows.

About 60% of the hike is within the river itself, alternating between wading through chest deep water, scurrying over turbulent rock beds, and at times swimming upstream. But while the water is cold - the origins of a large amount of it likely melt - and even on clear days the cliffs above conspire to keep the sun from a relatively short peak down, I never felt chilled. I'd chock this up to the exhilaration factor - the hike is effectively a natural incarnation of Schlitterbahn***.

Similarities to waterparks aside, the hike is no lazy river: footing for most of the river bed consists of rocks that average out to roughly the size and shape of bowling balls.

Now is probably a good time to mention that I'm still nursing a right ankle sprain, and dancing across watering bowling balls was conspicuously absent from the PT regimen the clinic recommended. Thankfully the strong current keeps the footholds relatively clean of algae, so I felt confident in the grip of my Keens to keep me upright.

Keeping with the good clip a party of one provides, I manage to outstrip most of the herd after a couple of hours****. At this point, as I feel a giddiness bubble up, charging chest first into a deeper section of the river, a sudden realization hits me:

It's Monday.

It's Monday, which means nearly everyone I care about is back at work after another weekend too short.

It's Monday, people are at work, and I'm traversing some of nature's finest work.

Fantastic.

--

For much of the start of the trip up the Virgin****, I repeatedly come across what appears to be an indigenous species to the Western National Parks, one Jeffrey and I saw in abundance back in Joshua Tree. Germans! I would hazard a guess that, within one 30 minute section of the Narrows, I was the only inhabitant possessing of a US passport. Now, understand that I love this - the fact the I'm lucky enough to be four tires from venues that people will travel half a world away to visit, places like Zion, brings a smile to my face. Keep 'em coming, Klaus*****.

The water's getting deeper at spots now, and I congratulate myself for my packing job. I endeavored to keep my backpack bereft of anything I wouldn't want to lose or subject to water damage (except for my camera, a calculated risk, and iPhone, which I shrewdly lost the night before to protect it from the river). Up until this point I've been holding the pack at arm's length above my head when the water gets up above my belly, but now I'm inclined, both by extra water and fewer people, to find a spot to stash the bag. And I'm not particularly concerned with the need to "stash" the bag - I harbor perhaps undue faith in the morals of hikers I've never met. Still, I find the perfect alcove, tucked away under a protecting lip of rock and somewhat out of the way from the casual eye, and deposit my water and food there, taking off for the home stretch freed of my burden.

At this point I enter a stretch where I gradually realize that I haven't seen another soul in an hour or so (time is tough to tell without a cell phone or Sun above). The next group I encounter is the first of a new breed of Narrows denizen: I'm going up, and they're coming down. Having camped the previous night high above us, these folks had hiked down into the river bed on they're way to a 16 hour journey.

After a few more hours, I reach what I expect is the point that hikers going upriver are instructed to stop at******- springs pouring from cracks in the walls into the river. After chatting with two guys who I later identified as the rearguard of the over-nighters, I'm content to pivot and start heading back downstream.

No longer on the opposing team from the current, I'm making great time back. Keeping my eyes peeled for the rock outcropping where my backpack rests, I trudge on for a long while before reaching a fork in the river. I'm nearly positive I had my bag when I passed this landmark coming up. Yes, I'd had it. Now, right as I'm slowing down just a tad, I've got to backtrack up and find that bag.

My thoughts: has that trust proved to be as naive as part of me thought?

After what seems like a half-way trek back, I encounter the two guys I'd run into a while back. Quickly picking up on why I'd be heading back, they immediately ask me if I'm looking for a red and black backpack. "300 yards back", they tell me.

I knew that those assumptions about the virtuousness of hikers weren't unfounded. And the water and beef jerky awaiting may never taste as good as it did in that moment, sitting above the river on a dry rock, legs tired and satisfied and with miles ahead of them before they'd reach the entrance to the Narrows.

---

*Once again, I love the amount of personal responsibility Zion gives visitors. Things might end poorly, but it's on you.
**An example: I know that the odds of me running afoul of a shark while swimming in the ocean and infinitesimal. The odds assure me it will never happen. And yet that entirely rational, logical point doesn't slow my heartbeat when I can't feel the sand on my toes in murky water, or stop me from from bringing myself to the brink of panic when I'm swimming in deep water.
***To those unfamiliar with Schlitterbahn, I feel for you.
****Full disclosure: I'm also reading "Desert Solitaire" by Edward Abbey on this part of the trip, so a bit of misanthropy is trickling in my thoughts. Future Book Club post? Yes. Book Club is still alive, just very, very lazy.
*****Here's a game I like to play with myself when I'm in a National Park or New York: based solely on the clothes - brand, cut, style - of the person approaching you: American or foreigner? I've found my own ability to call this game is limited, but there are some key indicators to keep an eye out for:

• Fila clothing. European, or recent partnership between Fila and Walmart? As touch a read as any for intrepid gamer.
• Apparel with "USA" or an American Flag prominently featured. A classic misdirection, this person does not pay US taxes, though that doesn't necessarily mean they're a foreigner...

*******I'm not sure why day hikers aren't supposed to go beyond this point, while overnighters cover a ton of ground beyond, but I imagine it has something to do with limiting traffic.

Recommendation: Hype Machine

This post is provided through a joint effort of Recommendation Foundation and Song Corner*.

Ok, check it.

Sometimes, you come across a new website, the introduction of which shares all of the most salient qualities of love at first site, a sort of effervescent chemistry that sparks an immediate reaction and possessing of a ferocious and unyielding craving for your next taste.

For some, that was Facebook.

For others, it was What I Do When I'm Not Working.

For myself of 5 years ago, it was discovering Wikipedia**

For myself of one year ago and up to this keystroke, it was and is Hype Machine***.

Oh, man, is this a good recommendation. I'm stoked I'm able to share it with you****.

Assuming you haven't already clicked on the hyperlink and aren't currently knee deep in sampling the site yourself, here's the jist:

Hype Machine is a music blog aggregator. What I find most compelling about it is the simplicity of adapting it, and its purview of wonderful remixes and otherwise obscure songs, songs that I otherwise wouldn't come across without trawling music blogs for hours a day, is unparalleled.

So, check it out if you haven't already done so. Here's a link to the tunes I'm jamming on the site.

Fin.

---

*The John T. and Catherine D. McArthur Foundation ain't got nothing on us.
**Credit due to Thomas Friedman, for writing about the site and foundation in "The World is Flat", and for publishing the book before I came to realize how I really felt about Thomas Friedman.
***Credit due to Marshall Ball, a guy who was on Facebook back in 1997, for the introduction to Hype Machine. I owe you a debt that can never be repaid, M-Beezy.
****Although, chances are you've already heard of it. If that's the case, give me a break - I'm trying here. Also, got any new leads on things I should know about?

One or More Things I Did Today (Zion, Day 2)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 18th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• I wake*.
• It's about 2 hours later than I expected.
• Hm, apparently the sound is turned off on the iPod alarm that is standing in for my missing phone.
• Well, 2 hours surely can't be an issue when I'm planning on undertaking a 10 mile hike up an active river that apparently takes a good 6-8 hours to complete and the gathering storm clouds overhead seem to promise rain and opportunities for flash-flooding.
• What's that? In the previously described circumstances, 2 hours might be significant? Oh.
• Well.
• Hm...
• I wake up on time, ready to hit the ground running.
• Shuttle up to the last drop off point...
• Wow, looks like I'm the only one of the thousands of tourists at Zion who thought hiking the Narrows** would be a good way to spend a Monday***.
• Look, I'm going to write a separate post for the hike****, so let's agree to me being pretty vague here with the details.
• So anyway, the Einstein chipmunk and I decide to go our separate ways once we pop out of the wormhole. "It's been real" (and it had*****), I tell the time-traveling robot as I hop back on the Zion shuttle.
• Dinner time.
  
• Sleep time.
• Picture of the day:

Wow, Google images came through with the picture of "Einstein robot". I'll never doubt thee again, internet.

As they say, "It was a Day".

---

*Or would that be, "I awake."? Eh.
**Hey, check out what Wikipedia has to say about what National Geographic has to say about the Narrows: Hiking the Narrows was rated # 5 in the National Geographic ranking of America's Best 100 Adventures.^{[1] ******}
***Editor's note: Correction - there were hundreds of other folks at the Narrows. Gobs of people.
****Believe it when you read it.
*****Had it? You'll have to wait for the that blog post I'm claiming I'm going to be writing.*******
******Check it out, now we're citing other sources here at WIDWINW! Note: Italics in that quote are courtesy of the management.
*******Here's a little sneak preview: it had not.

Planking Across America: Angel's Landing

Kids, don't try this at home (unless you live at Zion, in which case you should try it immediately. go on, go tell your parents you're heading to the library, i'll hold off on the blogging so you don't miss anything...):

Planking Across America:
And they said it couldn't be planked.

I'd like to dedicate this planking to Malia Killings. Malia loves a good hike, and taught me enough little camping tricks to keep me alive while living with the sky as your ceiling. This planking's for you, Malia.

One or More Things I Did Today (Sundays are for Zion edition)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 17th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• Woke up to the sounds of footsteps crackling in the ground as someone approached my hobo den. Sunshine Joe had come to Fairyland Point for an early morning photo session, waking me up 10 minutes before my alarm was scheduled to burst, and facilitating an early view to a gorgeous sunrise.
  
• Hit the road to Zion early, and arrived several hours later to find the crowd was even earlier.
• There are certain experiences that immediately reveal themselves as possessing a degree of splendor that makes them immediately forged into memories of the most precious sort.
• Zion was one of those experiences.
• I came in from the East, following the chain of cars down through the tunnels and sloping hills into the valley, a minor blessing that my car didn't leave the road for all of my gawking.
• Upon arriving at the campsite, I found my plot, dropped off the car, and made for the visitor's center.
• One of the terribly smart things about Zion: a top notch shuttle system that keeps the hordes of cars outside of the heart of the park. When you see the volume of visitors a park like Zion gets, this system makes an immense amount of sense. Tip of the cap to you, whoever thought of and implemented it.
• First up on the docket: Angel's Landing:
  
  
  
  http://www.flickr.com/photos/30124598@N00/sets/72157627117341603/

• Another thing to love about Zion: where else in this country can you be treated like an adult, subject to the consequences of your decisions? I'm amazed that its still an option to hike Angel's Landing, given the potential it offers to accidents and the litigiousness that follows. Tip of the other side of the cap to you, park managers.
• The hike, which gives the calves something to write home about, reaches its top form when you get to scramble across bare sandstone, where one misstep will send you into another world, and burly chains hold your hand like reassuring adults.
• Once I got used to the heights, it became somewhat surreal.
  
• From the finish point I could see the river bend hundreds of feet below. That made the descent easy, the goal of that cool water and washing the salt - brought to my arms and shoulders by the dry heat - off.
• And what do you know? The water was the perfect temperature, not nearly as frigid as I expected.
• Refreshed, I took the shuttle back to town, and hit the shuttle into S
• Bumbleberry pie? Check.
• Losing my cell phone? Check.
• Going for a fantastic jog at dusk, coming across what amounted to a little residential neighborhood within the park, and returning for some reading by candle and bug socializing? Oh, check check check.
  
• As I rolled out the sleeping mat and crashed for the evening, I had little idea I'd be spooked at about 3am and find myself putting up my tent in the dead of the night. But, sure enough, that's what happened.
• Picture of the day:

Be strong, young burly chain.

As they say, "It was a Day".

Another, thanks.

When You've Got a Moment, You Should Visit Bryce Canyon

Zut alors, is that place magnificent!

Click here for the pictures with the captions I wrote for them.

One or More Things I Did Today (A Saturday in Bryce edition)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 16th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• Alarm went off, just prior to sunrise.
• I still have the run of the place. Rainbow Point and I against the world.
• After photographing the splendor, I drag my Thermarest to a nice little nook on the edge of the ground and plop down for a nap, bare feet warmed by the rising sun.
• A inter-species misunderstanding occurs when a chipmunk tries to snuggle with my ear, causing alarm in both parties. I bolt upright, banging my elbow on a rock.
  
• Awake now, it's time to pull my folding chair out and enjoy some breakfast.
• Having conquered breakfast, and with my fellow tourists pouring into the area at an impressive rate, it's time to scope the rest of the park.
  
• I hit the visitor's center, then my destination: Fairyland Loop.
• And I am quickly ecstatic, because this Fairyland place - indeed, this Bryce Canyon - is spectacular.
  
• After shambling through the hoodoos and spires for many hours, shirtless, sans sunscreen (and sans common sense), I emerge at the Sunset Campground, the same spot that eluded my search the previous night.
• To celebrate the discovery, and because I had eaten all of the meager provisions I had packed for the 8 mile hike, I help myself to a slice of pizza and a beer (and a nap) from the general store.
• Polish off the last leg of the loop, visualize a congratulatory auto-high-five, and commence to more exploring.
• Finding all of the first come, first served campgrounds are full, I make dinner in the picnic area.
  
• Let me save you some time in the future: it may not be impossible to cook a beet in a tiny pan on top of a Coleman propane grill, but there are easier endeavors out there.
• Dinner complete, I visit the Lodge and bide some time until the 9pm start of the Aliens presentation by one of the park rangers.
• Appreciating the free entertainment (and refraining now from making a joke about the average level charisma found in my sample of Bryce Canyon rangers), I also realize I'd probably be better served sleeping than sitting through another second of this Aliens presentation.
• Still without a legit campground, I make my way back to Fairyland Point.
  
• If I had left the Aliens presentation 5 minutes earlier, I would have not encountered the two gents who decided to take a well worn page from the Book of Youth and spend their Saturday evening in what can fairly be expected to be a discreet place, indulging in smoke.
• Ignoring these champions, I proceed to drag my supplies over the wooden beams (re: the fence) and make myself a little burrow above the Fairyland Loop.
  
• No bears or cougars, or bugs, visit me that night, but I have fitful sleep nonetheless (my sleeping bag is rated at 15 degrees, or about 50 degrees less than the air at Fairyland).

Picture of the day:

My view from the spot I awoke, Sunday (cheating a bit on this picture of the day thing...)

As they say, "It were a Day".

Planking Across America: Bryce Canyon and Planking the Dawn

Sometimes a planking comes across that looks dangerous, but, upon closer inspection and a few well chosen words to assure the viewer otherwise, becomes something not fraught with peril, but rich with inspiration.

This (pause for emphasis) is that planking.

Planking Across America

The rarest of Eclipses, and speculated by experts to be the cause of ritual sacrifice in ancient Mayan culture, Self-Portrait

The majestic Planking Mountain Range rises gently above the sunrise, Self Portrait

Hey, this isn't Topeka... Self Portrait.

I'd like to dedicate this Planking of the Dawn* at Bryce Canyon to my future self, the one desperately and futilely trying to scrub the web of character-debilitating nuggets like this planking series that will forever haunt his hopes of a respectable public live. Here's to you, starched collar future John. This planking's for you. And don't fret - I hear Congress ain't all that great a gig anyway.

---

*Hey, did you know that dawn and sunrise are two different things? I thought they were synononymous. Apparently the dawn comes before sunrise. So, in actual actuality, these are actually pictures of sunrise, not dawn. Learn something everyday, right?

One or More Things I Did Today (Last Saturday Edition)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 15th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• Raised my head from my pillow.
• Made a PB & J sandwich.
• Drove through NE Nevada into Utah, land of Jimmer.
• Let's cut to the good part:
• Full moon. Full, full moon.
• Made dinner at a rest stop outside of St. George, Utah.
  
• I entered the hills and passes that greet motorists as they leave Cedar City and enter the Dixie National Forest*.
  
• For much of the drive, I'm treated to an extended exercise in solipsism. The moon rises and falls behind cliffs on the way, and the light has brought the deer out in full force.
• These deer could care less about cars.
  
• Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the cars.
  
• I expected to find Bryce Canyon an area bereft of cell-phone coverage, a place one would need to plan ahead before visiting.
• This was not the case.
• Better service than San Francisco.
• And there are gas stations within a mile of the entrance to the park. Consider this.
  
• But, as I arrive late to Bryce, there is no one to be seen. The sign at the gate informs me that the primary campground is full, but that there are plots available in the Sunset Campground.
  
• I drive on, never finding Sunset, and ending up at the end of the road. Along the way I stop at several of the viewpoints and savor the supreme calm and beauty of having such a scene all to myself on a full moon.
  
• Finding myself at the end of the line, I consider rolling out my Thermarest at the edge of Rainbow Point, but decide against it, either because I'm spooked by the absence of any sound that high up and where the road has stopped (which, if logically followed, would mean there's nothing up there to be spooked about), or because I'm not entirely sure a woodland creature won't try and snuggle up to me while I slumber.
  
• As a compromise between two factions of my decision making committee, I opt to rearrange my haul and make a nook for sleeping. And let me tell you**, it worked like a lucky charm***.
• Sleep, precious sleep****.
  

Picture of the day: Once again, I forgot. But I've got plenty to come.

As they say, "It was a Day".

---

*I agree: how is this not in Tennessee or something?
**Phrase copyright Malia Killings, 2011.
***When is Obama going to roll up his sleeves and get down to tackling the real issues he ran on back in '08? Specifically, compelling General Mills by executive order to make an all marshmallows Lucky Charms cereal? We can use the non-marshmallow bits for mortar. How this plays out will be a significant factor in how '12 shakes out.
****As you will see shortly, I checked my phone (what fidelity in the reception out there) to see what time the sun would rise the following morning and set my alarm for 10 minutes prior.

One or More Things I Did Today (which is to say, last Friday)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 14th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• Woke up very late, powerfully late. It was so late, tomorrow's newspaper was on the doorstep*.
• Doled out some hugs and goodbyes to Maria, Lance, and Colleen, and hit the Starbucks.
• Apparently, Starbucks now offers free wi-fi**. If only Howard Schulz had told me this a year ago, I might have given him my $2 in exchange for 4 hours of table occupancy and internet connection many times over the past 12 months.
  
• As it became apparent that it was after noon, I decided maybe I scrap the whole "driving to Bryce Canyon without any plans once I got there, much less a place to stay" and stick around Las Vegas another night***.
  
• With a full and very hot afternoon at my disposal, I decided to do something I should have done for a while. No, not figure out my health insurance situation - that can wait. Play basketball, of course!
• Afterwards, I hit the municipal pool. Total haul? Got in a couple of laps in the 3' portion while navigating the slalom of hyperactive kids, and one triumphant journey down the water slide (where I head at least a head on every other member of the line).
• Having covered my daily allowance of chlorine, I headed to the Gallucci's for dinner.
• And, it was good. Very good! Great, really.
  
• After that, we retired to the Lockstadt's to prepare, for this was a special night. No, not the eve of Maria's birthday - she has one of those every year, for jeebus' sake. Verily, it was the midnight showing of the Final Harry Potter Movie, For Now!
  
• But, as a Johnny Come Lately, the gig was sold out.
• So, while my hosts checked out Harry and the gang, I tagged along to the Red Rocks casino and did the following, in no particular order: loitered around the poker room, variously amused and mildly terrified by the spectacle of humanity within; took a Dogfish Head 90 Minute in a to-go cup from the Yard House (this is perhaps the best part of Vegas - ABV you can take with you); killing some time 'round 1:30am by eating a burger and fries at the casino Fat Burger; exploring the office parks and parking lots on the periphery of the casino; trying out the transient lifestyle by taking a brief nap in the bushes next to Chevron. Not as comfortable as it sounds; helping some Aliens change the tire on their spaceship; throwing rocks into a fountain (splish splash).
• And thus concluded my day.

• Picture of the day: Alas, I forgot to take one.

As they say, "It was a Day".

---

*I think that's a convincing Dangefield impression, there. As I sit here in Albuquerque, I wonder what I wouldn't give up in this world (aside from my two actual Grandfathers) to have had Rodney as a grandfather. Precious little.
**I'm fully aware of the "that guy" realm this particular bullet will put me firmly in. And I don't care. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, YKWIS?
***This does not make me a flip-flopper on my previous Las Vegas post. I'm the decider, so I decide.

I have survived Zion.

With all limbs intact. No 127 Hours moments for this guy.

I left both my heart and my cell phone in that magnificent valley.

Until the next time I fall enamored with a place,

A sneak peek...

... sh.

Don't tell the editors, but here's a sample of what's been going on the past couple of day.

More to come.

Oh, and if you have the chance to visit Zion, you should do it.

One or More Things I Did Today (Catching Up on Backlogged Days Edition, from Zion National Park)

And Let It Be Known, that on July 13th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• So long, LA. We had a good run.
  
• My god, there's a Chik-Fil-A in this town.
  
• I cannot emphasize the significance of this enough.
• 8 piece meal.
  
• To balance this day out as a draw, Las Vegas would have to leave me naked in the streets, wallet full of moths, left kidney missing*.
  
• I arrive in Las Vegas. See previous post for my sentiments. Like a commemorative souvenir book of our country's ills of the past 50 years.
  
• Dinner at Port of Subs!
  
• Turns out that my second cousin and her family live in LV, though, so the town** has that going for it.
  
• Visit to the Gallucci household.
  
• After catching up, commence to watching portions of Lawrence of Arabia.
• Things we learned while watching LoA:
  
• Camels can run
• The location*** of Aqaba
• That the movie has more false endings than a long uphill hike. Worse than A.I.
• Retrieved by Maria around 11pm to head over to the Lockstadt household.
  
• Stay up until 5am sitting on kitchen countertops, playing with a wonderfully hyperactive dog with a penchant for crotch-shots, and sharing YouTube finds and internet leads.

Picture of the Day: Previously published, click here for details.

As they say, "It was a Day".

---

*Hm... that actually doesn't sound all that outlandish.
**Re: world's largest strip mall.
***And existence of...

Goodbye, for now.

When I return, I shall blog of my time in Las Vegas, of wizards and deserts, and of the visit to parks and getting jiggy with Nature.

Until then, I'm heading to Zion.

*

Wish me luck. Write you come Tuesday.

---

*Garish formatting intentional.

Through the desert, to Las Vegas

Untitled from john griswold on Vimeo.

Planking Across America: Los Angeles

From on high, the planking of Los Angeles. Make sure to jam this tune while enjoying the festivities below:

Planking Across America:

Planks for the memories, LA. Photo by Liz.

This planking of LA is dedicated to my LA connections, Kyle and Liz. Kyle and Liz are amazing. Thanks, y'all. This plankings for you.

A Thank You Paean to My Hosts in Los Angeles

Dear Kyle and Liz and Rachael and Chris,

You guys are the best.

Thank you for putting me up and for putting up with me.

One or More Things I Did Today

And Let It Be Known, that on July 12th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• This, y'all, were a good day.
• Thank you notes, contesting tickets, blogging, reading, jogging, coffee drinking, quinoa eating, view partaking, Mexican food truck visiting - this day had it all.
• Highlight of the day, of which there were many (but I'll pick one), was visiting 826 Valencia, more specifically the LA branch of it. I can't say enough good things about this joint. Here's a little sample. If you come through Echo Park, you must seek this place out.
  
• Pic of the day:
• 

LA Q-Tips.

As they say, "It was a Day".

So long, LA

We'll always have these pictures.

One or More Things I Did Today

And Let It Be Known, that on July 11th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• Woke up.
• Administrative stuff all day. Being unemployed is harder work than I expected.
• Highlight of the day: dinner at the Reisers with Kyle and Liz.
  
• Once again, Rachael delivered with the delicious grub.
  
• Fun time had by all.
  
• We returned to KyLiz' pad for a computing session.
• Success.
• Pic of the day:
• 

Street art on Sunset

As they say, "It was a Day".

In the spirit of "if you don't have anything nice to say..."...

I went to Las Vegas.

Then I left Las Vegas.

The New Pets.com

Hey, want to get in on this latest rendition of a tech bubble?

Well, you're in luck!

Well, it seemed like a good idea when VCs were trampling each other to dump money into our coffers.

Presenting, Gigwalk, the latest innovation in tech companies that would inexorably confound your grandparents**.

Ever wanted to get paid for walking around? If that's the case, your ship has come in.

Better strike while the iron's hot, though, because you've only got a short time before Google scoops this outfit up and makes this post look even more moronic than it already is. Before you quit your job, put on that second set of socks, and move to one of the cities Gigwalk's interested in, though, riddle me this: who's got the better track record - Google, or WIDWINW?

Exactly.

Wait, you picked Google?

This post is over.

---

**Decided to start at the second asterisk for this post, spice things up a bit. Hm? Oh, yes, the point of this footnote! Sorry about that - I know your time is valuable. Yes, I can hear it now: "who wants to pay me to walk in the who-now?". Feel free to disregard all of this if one of your grandparents is Steve Jobs.

Dr. Seuss Trees: Joshua Tree Edition

We have a very special installment of DST for you here at this moment you're reading these words.

This is the granddaddy of Dr. Seuss Trees posts.

Specifically?

Dig it: Theo apparently styled the trees in The Lorax after Joshua Trees.

I know, right?!

With that momentum, let's roll out this fresh batch of fantastic fauna:

Wow, check out this crazy popcorn tree. In case you were wondering, these kernels need a bit of salt.

Not in to green eggs and ham? How about green thorny plants? That get your motor running?

Presenting: the grand dame of DSTs herself, the Joshua Tree.

There you have it. After this, we'll never need to post a "Dr. Seuss Trees" post ever again, having covered the entire spectrum.

Don't fret; we'll always have the memories.

---

*Taking the park ranger's word at face value here, as I've never read The Lorax.

I loves a good larf.

One or More Things I Did Today

And Let It Be Known, that on July 10th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

Wow, took me a few days to get to this one. But I swear this is what I was up to last Sunday!

• Triumphantly* awoke from sleeping outside the tent for a second straight night.
• Found myself sleep planking**.
• Ate leftovers for breakfast. Combine those two hyperlinks (or, more specifically, the subjects of them) and you'll have yourself a beast of a meal.
• Hey, let's go hiking!
• Sounds good, but first let's pack up the campsite and scoot through the dew***.
• Rocked a bit of a hike, saw some palm trees, and climber Mastodon Peak, but ultimately limited our hike due to the heat**** and our heavy legs.
• But, good news: Jeffrey's aunt had a pool in the Claremont are. This ensued.
  
• But before that, we stopped by Target to pick up my cell phone*****.
• Probably a good time to tell you about the Dippin' Dots we savored on the ride back.
• Did you know that Dippin' Dots has made impressive strides in dot ice cream since you first encountered it at the mall or waterpark? I didn't either. But they have!******
• The best part of the day? We made it back to Kyle and Liz's in time for dinner.
• What did we have for dinner? I'm glad I typed that question, because we had tamales, steamed in a pot over an open flame in the backyard.
  
• Innovation: I suggested we toss some of them apricots on the grill.
• Success!
• Hot success!
• Once all the fun had been had, we decided it was time to call it a night.
• Slept.
• Picture:

Desert asparagus for you?

As they say, "It was a Day".

---

*Adverbs are proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.
**Can't get too much of a good thing, you feel me?
***Apparently this was a favorite expression of my great-grandfather. Had to shoehorn this in.
****Pansy.
*****It and I were playing a game of hide and seek. It chose the single occupancy restroom as its hiding place, which lasted for a couple of days. I tell ya, those smart-phones. What will Jobs think of next?!
******Don't believe me? Chew on this delicious hyperlink and discover the depths of infinity.

Planking Across America: Pool Planking

Look:

We endeavor tirelessly* to bring you the latest in planking innovation here at WIDWINW.

Case in point, pool planking**:

Planking Across America:
Planking the great divide, Assisted Photo

Jules Verne Planking, Assisted Photo

This planking session is dedicated to Jeffrey, an enthusiastic proponent and co-conspirator of my planking dreams. Thanks for hooking up the pool, Jeffrey. This planking's for you.

---

*Adverb. These are typically not welcome at WIDWINW, but we've made an exception here, because we love adverbs.
**A godsend: on the return trip from J-Tree, we stopped by Jeffrey's family's pool. Rinsed off with a hose, forward planked in, sipped on a sun-warmed Tecate, and knocked some apricots off a tree. In short: the best use of one hour of time the world has ever seen.

One or More Things I Did Today

And Let It Be Known, that on July 9th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• Woke up at dawn to the sun rising over Joshua Tree. Not a rattlesnake or tarantula to be found.
• After having considered waking up, dragged sleeping bag and Thermarest behind a big rock.
• Commenced to sleep again.
• Sun finally peeks over rock and apprehends my feet in its glare.
• Time to get up!
• Homemade granola for breakfast. Yum.
• Pack it up and head to Lost Horse trail.
• Somewhere in the region of a six mile hike. Don't encounter another soul during the hike, but do encounter sweeping vistas and excellent conversation.
• Return to campsite. Proceed to scurry around the rocks and crevices at our campground, Jumbo Rocks.
• By this point, the flies have made themselves known. I'd swear they were buzzing my head just for S's and Gigs*.
• Jeffrey, flies, and I explore the wash and rocks for an hour or so before coming to this realization: "hey, we've been in the blank sun all day**".
• Nap.
• Back up!
• A ranger approaches!
• Nature walk to Skull Rock at dusk? Is that a come-on? It is? Sounds great!
• Turns out come-on means nature walk, which is just the same, because we learn about some of the more prevalent fauna within Joshua Tree.
• Some of the purposes the Indians of Joshua Tree used the plants we saw for: sorethroats, indigestion, upset stomach, constipation, birth control, diarrhea, headaches, fevers, juggler's despair.
  
• About this time, undue faith in Western medicine aside, I begin to appreciate the difference between "used for" and "worked for". That, or there must have been some pretty powerful placebo at work in that desert.
• Besides Jeffrey, myself, and the ranger? Germans. Tons of toe-headed, fair skinned Germans. I love Germans. And apparently they love Joshua Tree.
• Return and make dinner. Discover I've neglected to bring a pot along for this wild ride of a summer.
• Laugh at the camping pots and pans I bought at Fred Meyers.
  
• Zatarans and instant mashed potatoes: the dinner of kings***.
• Our ambitions for another night of Tecate, stars, and conversation are cut short by descending exhaustion, hard and fast.
• No tent, thanks.
  
• zzzz.

As they say, "It was a Day".

Oh! Almost forgot. The picture for the day:

German children playing under a desert's moon

---

*As part of our partnership with Google and Disney, we agreed to keep WIDWINW G-rated.
**And our lack of visits to the facilities begin to draw question towards our hydration. G-rated, y'all.
***If kings cooked on a propane range while shirtless and delicately operating a sauce pan that has been conscripted into service as a pot. You know, old fashioned king stuff.

Jeffrey Took Pictures at Joshua Tree, Too

Still want more pictures from Joshua Tree?

Well, you're in luck:

And if you were all set with the previous pictures and didn't want any more, sorry. Let me get you back to Facebook, post haste. Here to help at WIDWINW, we are.

Planking Across America: Joshua Tree National Park

Expanding the planking art form*, vertical planking

So much natural beauty here.

And the park was nice, too.

Feast your eyes on these rare planking specimens:

We called this rock "Fist Pump Rock". This was a planking first.

The original cover of U2's Joshua Tree album

I'd like to dedicate this preservation planking to Ky and Sue, mutual friends of Jeffrey and I. Ky and Sue are alright by us. Ky and Sue, these plankings are for you.

---

*Or, "beating a joke into the ground, over and over again". Believe me, it will all make sense in time.

One or More Things I Did Today

And Let It Be Known, that on July 8th, in the year of 2 thousands and 11, I was up to this:

• Went for a run alongside the lovely LA River.
• Visited the Sony Pictures lot in Culver City to pick up Jeffrey.
• While there, the following ensued:
• Planked Ecto-1*:

• Left my cell-phone in the private bathroom of the Indio Target. Rather than backtrack 20 miles, decided we'd pick it up on the return from J-Tree**.
• Made it out to Joshua Tree in time to find the place more or less deserted***.
  
• Drank beer under the stars until later than we thought it was.
• A first: slept in a sleeping bag, outside, sans tent. Where have I been all this time? Highly recommended, even if there's a chance I rattlesnake/scorpion/tarantula may take your pie-hole for a cozy motel.

As they say, "It was a Day".

---

*Anecdote Corner: According to Jeffrey, Sony is interested in making a third Ghostbusters film, only no one has been able to reach Bill Murray. Apparently BM doesn't have an agent, but rather an answering machine that he periodically checks when he decides he wants to work. In other news, I'm hoping to be reincarnated as Bill Murray. But instead of being reincarnated as Bill Murray, I'd rather just have an answering machine I can decide to check when I want to work. Is that too much to ask? No? Thanks for the confirmation. I figured as much, but I needed a little affirmation.
**Worked like a charm.
***Wait, just now picking up on the linguistic similarities between "deserted" and "desert". Is there something going on here? Let me know.

"How much do you like the heat?" A Joshua Tree Tale

You want Joshua Tree? We got Joshua Tree:

Back in the Saddle

J-Tree?

Success.

And I'm listening to this track. Catchy, and not quite typical WIDWINW fare. But that's part and parcel of blogging while not drawing a paycheck - trying out new things.

Superbass,

WIDWINW

Los Angeles River: Fragile Ecosystem At a Crossroads

So this morning* I went for a bit of a jog.

The goal was to ramble aimlessly around Chris and Rachael's place, check out some scenes, and make my way back in time for some blogging.

And then I came across the splendor of the Los Angeles River**, and I knew I had to draw attention to this special place.

Cats, or "Reminds me of the cover of this"

Los Angeles River, facing one way

Dip my toes where the river flows

Los Angeles River, facing the other way

A babblin' brook

Like so many of our natural resources, I fear the Los Angeles wetlands may vanish forever if something is not done to reverse the destructive trend that has probably been in place for decades or something.

Let's all do our part to make sure the wonderful smells of this unique place remain pungent for our children to savor in the future. We can each only do our part, so let's start by doing that a lot.

Thank you for your donation. Your Los Angeles Wetlands vinyl decal*** is in the mail.

---

*Editor's note: I actually went for this jog last Friday. Linear time, y'all!
**Did you even know such a thing existed? The Los Angeles river? Sounds like something out of Demolition Man.
***Fits windows of all Suburu models.

See You In A Couple of Days

Take a deep breath:

Hm, funny smell. Wasn't me, I swear!

So, just so you don't worry that I've given up on this whole blogging thing, I want you to know:

I'll be in Joshua Tree for the next couple of days.

I don't think their router is working out there, so I probably won't be blogging much for a few days.

Have a great weekend!

Body of Work: Right Ankle

I'd like to introduce you to the latest section of WIDWINW,

Body of Work

In these posts, we're going to showcase a particular facet of my body that warrants some consideration.

Today, we're featuring my right ankle:

The yellow part is not the ankle. The ankle is under the white, cottony part.

Ol' Righty has recently been making his way back from a bad high ankle sprain. Usually, he quite enjoys running with his pal Lefty, occassionally jumping, either for a rebound or to avoid a stream of water, and not being in pain. After the sprain, however, Righty wasn't able to do any of the things he loved, aside from shambling along like a deflated balloon*.

After a bit of time, though, it appears as though Righty is back on the... right track. These days, he's been up to some good adventuring, including running in the sand, maintaining his composure when my center of balance shifts, and slimming down to his usual svelte self**.

Here's to you, Righty. In the words of John Lennon, "Long may you run".

---

*Actually, like an overinflated balloon. He was getting his swell on.
**Two words: swimsuit season.

Dr. Seuss Trees

Welcome back to Dr. Suess Trees*.


Check this crazy specimen out. Why, it warrants its own video narrated by the guy who did the Honey Badger one.

Only ol' Theo Geisel could have dreamed up something this wacky: a plant that grows out of a metal pipe!

When this is around, can the Lorax not be far behind?**

---

* Now be honest: you thought the whole Dr. Seuss Trees conceit was going to bomb and never be mentioned again after the inaugural posting, didn't you? Oh, ye of little faith. Actually, I thought the same thing. Oh, we of little faith.
**Definitely lots of smogulous smoke about. So, no, Lorax can't be far.

LA Redwood

A rare species:

Planking Across America: Malibu

Planking has reached the big time: Malibu.

Planking Across America

Planking isn't just inane - it also evens out a tan.

I dedicate this planking to Chris and Rachael, great hosts and all around cool folks who fed me and kept a roof over my planking apparatus yesterday. This planks for y'all, y'all.